Sojourn From Reality

April 16, 2013
Since I jovially began this blog a few months back I feel I have both moved forwards and backwards in a peculiar fashion. Instead of embodying vivaciousness and enthusiasm as my CV surreptitiously states, it appears that lethargy has become my main trait. Having alienated my friends by being a bit of a brat, I have found myself in this self-inflicted predicament where I very rarely leave the house. I have allowed myself to plummet into a life of isolation, regressing further and further into a child-like state, giggling precariously at anything remotely phallic and shunning my previously glittering social life to stay home to repeatedly watch movies like Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. With my iPhone permanently nested in hand, I have inadvertently irritated all of my internet friends by persistently harassing them to communicate with me so frequently that it should be considered an art-form. I scroll through job-sites much as I would scroll through Tumblr – not really looking at anything but occasionally stopping the moment I see a picture of Harry Styles. As you can imagine, job-sites never actually feature photographs of Harry Styles, so I remain unemployed.

David Bowie sings Magic Dance from the ever poignant film Labyrinth. The soundtrack to my life.

What am I writing about? Every few weeks I sit here with a blank word document and begin typing the same thing, again and again. My fingers angrily hit the keyboard as I compose yet another self-derogatory account of my empty days and lack-lustre approach to life. Why? Because this is all I know. I am currently perched on my kitchen worktop after a hard day of doing absolutely nothing waiting for chicken to brown in the frying pan. Go out and see the world, I hear you cry! My inner monologue retaliates immediately with “What? Out there? With all the fresh air and terrorism and humans I’m not related to? No thanks, I’d rather stay at home where it’s warm and safe”. But the truth is, I am itching to see the world and all of its many wonders. My problem is that I am the living cliché of the girl with a tonne of potential, yet zero productivity and I am waiting for everything to fall into my lap. I am taking a sojourn from reality. But what do you do when your sojourn becomes a mantra?

As the timer from the microwavable rice sounds its inevitable ping, I sigh as the influx of usable thought I have been striving for streams out of my mind and find no medium to jot them on. I make a mental note of the prose as I pour myself yet another glass of red wine. Bits of rice fall out of my mouth and onto the letters T, C and U, as I eagerly write down these very words that seemed so exciting only moments ago.

So here they are, these are the words, and this is my life. For now, at least.

1 comment:

  1. I too know your pains and anguish of existing for existence sake, begrudgingly bumbling through the day, searching for jobs that government officials tell me are out there and friends and family telling me the opposite. Within two hours I find myself on the "strange" part of youtube and the web, looking for an answer to my existence yet scaring myself with prophecies of Armageddon and extra terrestrial abductions. By 1am motivation hits I undertake reining in my thoughts that had eluded control like a five year old on too many E numbers. Ambitions and aspirations flood through my veins. Tomorrow, My tomorrow will be affluent with a variance of will and thought, tomorrow will be my day of days,I drift into my unconscious state of dreams full of hope that my Erika moment is now my today, yet hazily I wake the will of yesterday diminishing, my tomorrow is today but my thoughts flee to tomorrow likewise my yesterday starts again.


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